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Sunday, August 28, 2011

August 28, 2011 – Winding down from the first week back to school…..

Well, the new beginnings started this week and for the most part things went really well! I happen to really like my new job, I’m not to the point of loving it yet, but that will come. I miss my friends in West Orange but I sill get to see most of them quite often so I’ll survive. I am learning the ins and outs of my new district and I have to say I feel confident that I will adjust with very little effort. It seems I have fallen into a job with wonderful co-workers that are willing to help me out when I ask and best of all; I eat lunch for free!!

I have found myself in an odd position concerning Thomas; do I share him with these people or do I keep him to myself?? I think we all know my answer to this one; I share him with anyone that wants to listen. I have pictures of him in my room and I know the topic of him will come up in due time. I have brought him up to a few people already and it feels good to get it off my chest. I have struggled with how to answer the question, “how many kids do you have?” It’s very hard to read people; you never know if they will be excessively uncomfortable at the mention of a child that has passed away or if they will welcome conversations about them. I was in the front office the other day and someone asked me how many kids I had and in that moment of truth I said, “I have two boys, one is 3 ½ years old and my youngest son passed away on May 1st”. I was trying to make eye contact with people in the room to read their reactions while attempting to remain assertive but loving at the same time. I don’t like crying in front of people I know, much less strangers. I was shocked at the warm responses I received! They all sat there listening to our story and when I offered my blog site to one of the ladies standing there, another lady asked if I would write it down for her. What a relief, I’ve made the first step in letting my new co-workers in on a little piece of who I am now.

I really wish I could report such a happy beginning for my boy at his new school, but his week didn’t go so well. He was so very excited about starting his first day of school and I was so proud of how “grown up” he appeared to be; it’s not easy changing schools. I woke him up delicately, he’s just like me, hates mornings! I went in, scooped him up in a blanket and turned on his favorite cartoons while I rocked him until he woke up. When he finally opened his eyes I asked him if he was ready to go to school and he said he was; whew! I fixed his favorite breakfast and sat with him while we both ate. I had to wake up over an hour before I would normally be up just to ensure that this day went just right for him. I took plenty of pictures of a smiling face that was eager to meet new friends at his new school and off we went. As we were driving to Bridge City I noticed he was staring out the window so of course I asked him if everything was ok; his response was, “I’m just looking for my new school”. I was so excited that he was really ready to make this leap in life. His first day went so well; he really seemed to love it. Day two; not so much. I will simply say, it’s amazing that this mommy was able to keep the ugly side under wraps. He will not be going back to that school, ever again!! Our good friend helped us out for the rest of last week and he is now back in Presbyterian Day School in West Orange. I never should have pulled him but I really didn’t want to drive from Beaumont to Orange to drop him off and then head to work in Bridge City only to go back to Orange to pick him back up before being able to head back to Beaumont. I would drive all over the Golden Triangle at this point to make sure I never pick my baby boy up in that state again! He can’t wait to start his “green school” this week!

On to the weekend……

We made a snap decision, along with our really good friends, to head to the lake for the weekend!! Best thing we could have done after the first week back to work; it was relaxing, exciting and an all out blast. I’m so glad we decided to go. I have to say I’ve never been so happy to wake up at the crack of dawn. We didn’t get to the lake house until really late Friday evening and the boys were high on life. They were so excited to be there and they were not having any part of going to sleep so we all partied until around midnight when us old folks couldn’t take it any longer. Saturday morning my sweet boy woke me up with the best words. I was sound asleep when I hear him not so much saying, but singing, “I’m smiling at you”. I checked the time and it was only 7:00; we do not wake up at 7:00 on Saturday mornings in the Bush house so I sweetly told him to go back to sleep. He honored my request for about 30 more minutes when I hear, “I fink the sun is on, I need to go swim in the lake”. I couldn’t be mad, I have to say his excitement made all the difference in the world. We have spent the last 2 days on boats, jet skiis and lounging in the water with people we truly cherish. We were able to just exist for the entire weekend and it was much needed. I really feel refreshed and ready to take on the school year; I wouldn’t be mad if we did that every weekend!

I am blessed beyond measure. I have an amazing family and the best friends I could ask for. We are surrounded by people that love our family and we love them just as much. The only bad thing to come of the weekend; my nice set of raccoon eyes and a fantastic burn that’s causing an incredible amount of discomfort!

I want to close this blog asking for prayers for a friend of mine. She’s a person that Thomas has brought into my life and I’m so proud to “know” her; even if only through FB. She is currently pregnant with her 2nd anencephalic baby and is only 34 weeks. She found out last week that her fluid levels are dangerously high and she will have to be induced in the morning. She weighs heavy on my heart and mind daily. There’s a bond there that can’t be described; I just love my fellow anencephaly mommies. She has handled what God has given her with grace and dignity. She has carried out His tough and what seems unfair will twice now. I would ask that all of you pray; pray for comfort, peace, words to offer her older children, strength for her and her husband and most importantly that her Lily be born alive and she get to spend some time with her angel before she leaves this earth. She KNOWS what’s in store; that doesn’t make it any easier, it might, in fact, make it far more difficult. I may never meet Allison Johnson, but she will forever be in my heart.


  1. I have followed your story from the beginning but I'm not sure I have ever commented before. I've never lost a child and can't begin to know your heartache. I can't imagine how difficult it is to say it out loud, but please tell people about Thomas. Please tell them you have two sons, even if people become excessively uncomfortable once you explain that one of them lives in Heaven. You and Aaron and Aaden remind us of Thomas' legacy and the miracle of his blessings during his short stay here on earth. If I didn't know about your journey, (and even still that I do!) and we happened upon one another and you told me...I would listen more carefully than probably ever before, because when you tell Thomas' story, you are sharing one of God's greatest gifts...the blessing of a baby. And when you go on to finish that God took Thomas back home already, you are again sharing God's blessings...His grace and mercy to you, Aaron and Aaden. I HATE that God has taken Thomas back home, but I LOVE that you see Him in it and cling to His promise of everlasting life. Bless your heart for that!

    I'm sorry Aaden had a rough first week of school but a wonderful weekend at the beach! That can brighten a lot of bad school days!

    Praying for Allison Johnson...grateful she has you as a friend.

  2. Kathi!

    I have just now been able to comment back on my blogs....not sure what's going on with blogger lately! Thank you so much for following our story, that means the world to me! I have been blessed to share his story several times this week with my new co-workers and they have all be such an understanding and captive audience! People love my boy and that melts my heart! Thank you so much for your kind have blessed my heart!

    Please continue to pray for Allison, she is on an undesireable roller coaster now and I just hurt for her!!